Tonight I wanted to write a response to a wonderful article written by Katia Hetter (CNN) and shared on FB by my smart, talented and gorgeous friend Meg McM
www.cnn.com/2012/06/20/living/give-grandma-hug-child/index.htmlThis is a great commentary on what we ask our children to do out of politeness, and what we ask them to sacrifice. I recently had to intervene on behalf of my daughters, and politely ask a certain individual to 'step back'.
The line between childhood and adulthood is so blurred, and guess what? My daughters, while kind, gentle, intelligent young women and kick-ass athletes, do not need to prove they are such, to you, guest in my home. They do not need to prove this by racing you around the block, arm wrestling, or (GAG) seeing if they are strong enough to escape from your 'grasp'. G-A-S-P! It was all I could do to politely kick this man's ass out of my house and politely inform him he was not invited back. All while conveying to my girls that it is OK not to be 'polite'.
So, as I was rallying myself to write
(and I'm not a writer, it's like sex with your spouse; it has to be done. It's enjoyable while you do it, but then you forget it's not that bad and have to psych yourself up to do it again. And DON'T be nodding in agreement, women friends. That's a joke. Writing is hard, sex, OK, I give up...<GRIN>...)
Anyway, I was thinking about Hetter's article, and some of the negative press she received, people were all up in arms about our children following our directions, but I was also thinking about my recent post.
Think about this:
"The message a child gets is that not only is another person's emotional state their responsibility but that they must also sacrifice their own [personal space/emotional state] to buoy another's ego or satisfy their desire for love or affection," Jennifer Lehr [Hetter]
So I touched nerves with my Who Loves Who post. I got backlash and ooph, someone told me to fuck off....it's just like high school. And take note, Lehr was writing about children.
Your emotional state is your responsibility, but your adult BEHAVIOR influences the emotional state of the ones you surround yourself with.
If you can't sleep, re-visit my posts on the right~Who we Love Doesn't Always Love Us, and the one below that was so short but pissed all 12 of you off:
Cut yourself (and me, your tooth-ache) some slack <3
Break it to YOU Gently- One More Time
REedit
Break It by Brenda Lee
One of my favorite artists, beautiful, talented and forgotten.
Did you also know she sang, I'm Sorry. Put her on SHUFFLE with Vivaldi Winter and you could be up all night solving problems
Loves, it really isn't about YOU. It's Karma. Karma, she's a bitch, isn't she?
I pissed several of you off when I first published this post last week. You thought it was about you. News flash, not everything you read on the Internet is true. Never the less, your feelings are legitimately yours, which lead me to pull this post for a couple days while I re-thought.
So here we go again...only tonight it's not Brenda Lee on iTunes, it's The Flaming Lips, and Yoshimi is battling the pink robots, again. The good news? She's a black belt in karate.
Did you think it was about you? ? Girls?
And YIKES to those of you angry at the woman who had an affair...again, the man in the situation gets a 'High-Five'. The woman gets Bitch-Slapped, literally.
Men friends,
If I pissed you off and if I touched a nerve with you, all 12 of you, do something about it. And Get the Fuck over yourself, truly. We want what you want. And stop complaining that you are 'stupid' or 'dumb'. You know what? You would never tolerate that from an employee. ONE time and you would fire their ass.
My last advice was, 'Move forward and move on.'
For tonight, [Listen] to Brenda Lee, the words don't matter, the heart does.
"When I fall in love..." It's just good listening.
BUT take a note from Yoshimi:
'Cause she knows that
it'd be tragic
if those evil robots win
I know she can beat them
AND from Hetter:
"...while I hope I'm teaching my child how to take care of her/himself in the future, there are benefits to allowing her/him to express affection in their own way and on their own timeline...."