The Man Code

Lately, it seems, I've had multiple opportunities, more so than usual, to witness the basic differences between men and women.

OK, so STOP, quit with the Men are from Mars jokes. Before you read further, be warned off. You may be offended, you may wonder how I came upon this knowledge (good friends with a drink in their hands are willing to share...), you may not want to know. You may be shocked that your niece, your best friend's daughter, your sister, your mother may have contributed to this blog tonight. And I just want to say, some of my best friends are men.

Here goes...and the names have been excluded to protect the witnesses.

True story #1, "Dude, take a picture of my dick so I can send it to my girlfriend." Other dude, "OK."

Couldn't make that one up if I wanted to .....what the hell...? when I asked the 'model' about the aforementioned picture (mind you, I am not in possession of it, merely reporting on said activity), saying that I could never understand why that conversation would be considered 'normal' I was told, 'That's why we're boys. We never question." Right...you're 38

Two thoughts here:
1) Women, we could do better to live by a code where when it comes to other women we should try to accept and not ask why
2) Men, you should really keep your pants on
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True story #2, my girlfriend has a male friend who treats her like one of the guys. It really is all on the up and up.

That's all good, until he thinks he's crossed a line and gets all embarrassed and SHE has to backtrack and tell him it's all OK. SERIOUSLY, the two of you substitute phrases in movies to make them into porn titles and you get worried when you send her a picture of your Star Wars collection on your desk (let's not go there) when you have placed an Ewok at Princess Leia's backside in a suggestive position? I'm thinking you should more apologize for "Honey, I Spunked the Kids." Trust me, I have had to do damage control...
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And just to give a nod to my friend Elizabeth, a Speedo and 42F water temps do not a pretty picture paint...I'm just sayin'

Men. Never a dull moment, and I thank you for that.

What Else? The End of the World

The forecast for Buffalo is snow this weekend. We are certainly hoping for a white Christmas. The local forecasters call for a 'dusting' and 1-3 in the Southtowns.

The Weather Channel is issuing updates and Weather Underground is posting advisories on an hourly basis. Quite a sensation.

Truly, I think they are all just preparing for the end of the world tomorrow and they can't quite admit it.  Weather is better. Forecast an evil storm, blame it on the weather.

So, if you are home, waiting for the end of the world, please send all your cash to me,

AND  if you dare to comment, and you ARE all chicken, you read anonymously, never post comments and then you log off, BUT if you dare, please comment. If the end of the world were to come tomorrow, how did you live your life? Are you happy? Secure in your Ethernet obituary? Is there anything in your underwear drawer that you should throw away TODAY?

ME: I have tried to be kind and gentle. Sometimes my insecurities in myself cause me to be on the defensive and argumentative. I give what I can, love when it is needed, and try to stay positive. As for my underwear drawer...several years ago it went up in flames. All is good :)

Adios Dark Stranger

Now, before you think I've met the proverbial lover in the alley, stop, read

We never examine our life until we are confronted with death. Death of a loved one, a pet, a neighbor, a co-worker ~ makes us realize our mortality...UHM anything new here?

So with the Dark Stranger... You've read my FB post, you know he was just a fish. I count myself lucky that the Dark Stranger was gifted to me 11 some years ago by my cousin/sister/friend, Margaret.

The Dark Stranger truly was a gift. He was a teaching moment for friends, family and myself. MY GOD, he was a scum-sucking bottom feeder; the lowest of the low, to quote my old friend Ken (he found that disgusting, but I am pretty sure that's who he dated..).

Let me tell you, this 'bottom feeder' was much more savvy and smart than many of the people I encounter.

OK, he would beg like a gold fish and perform silly tricks like taking an algae tablet from your fingers (even in his olden days with cataracts), but more than that, he would sense you were there and just move his silky body up to the edge of the aquarium any time you were near, just to be close; just to let you know he was there~no expectations, just there, to be near you.

How many of your friends do that for you?

Those of you who had the good fortune of meeting him will mourn his passing. RIP

Fashion?

Ladies, I am not one to comment on fashion, those who know me will confirm I am a girl who just puts clothes on because society deems it a necessity. Some days I don't even look in the mirror (GASP). Only two things concern me: back fat/saddle bags from my bra and the VPL

OK, those are biggies. But most recently, I have been observed with blue socks and black pants (Oh F-off, Elizabeth) and wearing one black and one blue sock, a by-product of getting dressed in the dark.

Today's topic, and forgive me, I KNOW many of you have these, and YOU KNOW I KNOW, but I digress...

Today's topic-the poncho. These were popular when I was 7. There's a very good reason they were popular when I was 7.  It was the hippie era, ladies. No one gave a damn what you were wearing; everyone was high. No, NOT my 7-year-old self, you get what I mean.

One bit of advice: PUT THEM BACK ON THE BED WHERE THEY BELONG

Seriously. No one ever improved their image by taking their college-inspired* afghan off their bed and wearing it to work.

...I'm just sayin'

*NOTE: you can replace college with favorite sports team